Life Compass
Keeping You Pointed in the Right Direction


Did you ever meet someone who enjoyed the worst of health? You ask how they’re doing and they respond with a heavy sigh and moan, “No one knows what I’m going through … feeling … ooooooh, if you only knew.” And you think, “Ooooh, I wish I had never asked.”

Some people seem to thrive from crisis. In fact, our current Presidential Administration made famous the statement, “Never let a good crisis go to waste.”

There are people who enjoy the attention they receive from the sympathy they muster from whatever the crisis of the day may be whether real, fictional, or over embellished. 

Without the crisis or problem they would more than likely be virtually ignored or unnoticed. They lack the confidence, ability, security, maturity, and competence to preform, produce, and gain attention from merit, work, and accomplishment.

Now, let me pause here to state everyone goes through trials, testings, and even tribulations to one degree or another. We all need positive affirmation when we’re down and feeling overwhelmed, beaten, and abandoned. BUT to stay there, live there, and enshrine that position in life is not only unhealthy, it’s toxic. Yes, toxic. It is toxic to the person who feels that way. It can lead to depression and worse.

It is toxic for the people who enable those feelings in the one expressing them.

You save a drowning man by throwing him a life line from the safety of where you are. You DO NOT jump in the water with him unless you want him to pull you under as well.

Now, with that said let me add that it is a calculated, manipulative emtional control issue for the person who dwells in crisis’ long past or greatly lengthened because THEY have chosen it to be so.

Our President still blames the previous President in the hopes of stirring an emotional response from his base of support.

People carry old baggage and issues that could have long been over and done with. It’s the ex-wife syndrome. Ten years may have passed and both parties are remarried BUT she is still going to make his life miserable and squeeze him for every penny to the detriment of his current family, deny him access to his children, and engage in other forms of emotional black mail.

Sadly, Pastors do it as well. It’s very easy for a new pastor to milk the problems of the past pastor to his own benefit. At first the new pastor is viewed as the hero and soothing shepherd. As he begins to launch into his own vision and ministry and things don’t work out, people start griping, leaving, and the ministry becomes more than he expected (it’s more than preaching, wearing your best conference suit, and fellowshipping with the brethren seeking your wisdom). It’s WORK. It’s PEOPLE. And people ARE work!

Oh, and those people you lip service with “I love you” expect you to produce. When you can’t, you’re burdened and overwhelmed because you lack the competence and ability to actually perform the duties and calling of the position you pull out the trump card: TAH-DAH “Remember what my predecessor did?”

It’s not only a crutch and an excuse but it is also a perverted addiction. People enjoy the “high” of the sympathy and encouragment they receive from reminding everyone else of their convenient crisis.

They have turned a problem into their own benefit. It is a way they garner support and accolades without doing anything except getting people to feel sorry for them and say nice things about them.

The real truth … others involved in the problem can’t get help, closure, or move on because one emotional manipulator who benefits from the crisis won’t let it end! It also keeps the sympathizers stirred up and ignorantly in the dark as to the facts of a situation. They are so busy being mad at the problem/hurt causer and expressing whimpering sympathy to the one in crisis they miss obvious and plain facts.

Yes, whether it’s politics, marriage, or even the ministry … there are people who will spend their lives waiting for, hoping for, or manufacturing their next needed crisis so they relevance and acceptance. Sad. Very sad.

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