Life Compass
Keeping You Pointed in the Right Direction

I Failed…

Never easy to admit.

The hardest truth and reality of life is knowing that you hurt those you love. Whether it’s actually family or people you love like family … when you sin, when you fail, when you break someone’s trust it can be devestating.

Walking into my child’s room when he was very young and admitting I had overreacted when I yelled and daddy needed to apologize was not easy.

Facing a wife and admitting betrayal was not easy.

Telling your children of your disgrace after all the lectures on ideal behavior was not easy.

Acknowledging to people who loved and stood with you of your unworthiness of their support was not easy.

Confessing to God what He already knew was not easy.

Having that young boy tell you, “I forgive you, daddy” as he hugs your neck is priceless.

Having your wife stand with you and reinvest her love, support, and faith in you is beyond words or comprehension.

Giving your children the space they need to sort out their feelings while maintaining their love for you in the midst of their hurt is inexplainable.

Receiving unconditional love and forgiveness from many has been overhwhelming and rejection from others is understandable.

A God who chastens while showering blessing at the same is undeserved.

Each day I am reminded of my past failures in my current successes. As He puts me back together and back in places of service I see what has been lost and what has been gained. Lost as a result of my choices and gained as a result of His goodness.

My patience has grown to accept others where they are and who they are while my tolerance of me has been cut short.

Today as I flipped through pages and photo gallaries on Facebook my failure came back to hit me and convict me again. We are all prone to take credit when something we were involved in does well … we must also acknowledge our responsbility when things do not go well. If I am going to take credit for the influence I had in a young person’s life who went off into the ministry or became successful then I also need to acknowledge what my role may have been in someone’s life who did not continue on in the faith but may have actually turned their back on it.

While those people are responsible for their own choices and the consequences they bring BUT that does not negate IF I am somehow involved as the contributor to the disillusionment then I am responsible to make the attempt to make it right.

My heart broke today for a young man whom I had opportunity to influence a few years ago. Both he and his brother were some of my special teens who were “destined” to do big things. They had charisma, talent, and a heart for the Lord. They had been in my home many times, associated with my kids, and were special to me and my family.

Now they are away from the Lord. One of them adamantly so. While some of that is their own choosing along with other contributing factors it does not negate my role. I was his spiritual leader, example, role model, mentor, and pastor BUT I failed him.

As I sit here and pray, ponder, and grieve … I take solace in one fact … BUT God! God can soften hearts and lead us back. Yes, he has to be willing. So to that end I pray.

Only God can take up the slack caused by our failings.

Admitting this is not easy. But it’s the right thing to do. Right isn’t always easy.

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